found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
