Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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