What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
