In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Randomize
