Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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