Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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