Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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