I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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