i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize