You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
