last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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