I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will pee on everything he values.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
do nipples grow back?
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