its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
