what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
