i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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