he puts the penis in happiness.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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