Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's like iHOP with fire
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
