She's JV to your varsity
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
