don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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