I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
