Pappa wants mamma naked
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
