elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
