I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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