this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
