rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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