But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
from now on my penis is your penis
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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