Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
being pregnant is like rehab
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
