i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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