i just had sex bonerless
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
