yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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