there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I need a beard to bite.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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