sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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