He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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