Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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