I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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