That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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