i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
