I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize