I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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