you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
