He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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