You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
