I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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