called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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