I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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