I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
