fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
whose ass print is on the piano?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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