I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
