I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
