So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
