Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
