the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
