i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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