I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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