one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
