Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
