dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
