She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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