i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
