DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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