I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pants are for mortals
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
