last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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