I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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