i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
