people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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