WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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