I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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