What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if only i could text you this smell
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need moral support for this bender
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
