hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
